I find that many people have expectations of those around them. Be this, be that, be perfect. We all know perfection is an impossible expectation to reach. There are a few people in my life that I can never please. They are always disappointed in the person that I have become because I haven't reached their level of "success". I often find myself questioning where I am headed. Am I making the right choices? Do I need to walk away from entrepreneurship and get a full time job? Is Mae B my purpose in life? I could go on and on.
Here are 5 ways I am learning to quiet the naysayers in my life:
1. Stop Trying to Prove Yourself
Let me explain. I am not saying stop working hard. I am not saying stop putting yourself out there. I am saying stop placing your self worth on the approval of others. Everyone wants to receive praise for their hard work, but don't let that be what fuels your fire. Your journey is about you. Are you happy? Are you proud of the steps you're taking? Are you seeing the fruits of your labor even if they are small? If you answered yes to those questions, I would say you are on your way to your best life. Own that. Let that feeling being what keeps you moving forward.
Many times the only way to create peace in your life is to put distance between yourself and the people that fill your head with self doubt. Depending on the relationship you have with this person it maybe difficult, but your mental well being is important. If it's a sibling, a parent, or a close friend - creating distance can get tricky. I know this from experience. I tend to talk with people less. Instead of a talking once a day, maybe cut it to once a week. Find a ratio that works for you and stick with it.
3. Own Your Journey
There is a person in my life that is always reminding me how disappointed they are in me and the life choices I have made. Basically, this person is upset that I have decided not seek full time employment as a new reporter, have 2.5 kids, and live the life they have always imagined. Oh, and they aren't too thrilled I am not "using" my $70K education. It is impossible to live up to everyone's expectation of you. Every choice you make during this life you have to live with. Do you want to be calling the shots in your life? Or do you want someone's expectations of you to drive your life? It's up to you. I have chosen to be the shot caller.
4. Celebrate Your Wins
Celebrating your accomplishments is a key component to taking the next steps on your journey. How will you ever appreciate what is happening in your life if you don't stop and take in what you've accomplished? Do something that makes you feel good after a victory. Have a glass of champagne. Make a reservation at your favorite restaurant. Hang out with your girls. Just make sure you do something!
5. Surround Yourself With Positive People
This has been the ultimate game changer for me. My circle of friends has changed quite a bit in the last four years, but for the first time in my life I know I am surrounded by women that want to see me win. I am surrounded by women who inspire me day in and day out. They make me better and speak life into me when I just want to say "I quit". They are changing the way I view myself and always changing they way I live my life. It is important to surround yourself with people that lift you up, tell you when you're wrong, and are there to give you a nudge when you find yourself not wanting to keep pushing forward.